I feel like I’m on the precipice of something big, of changing course. I don’t want to change everything, but I do want to change a lot. If I walked into my job tomorrow and quit, what would happen? The world wouldn’t end, but would I shake the rest of my world so much that lots of other things would fall apart? I feel like I’m capable of so much more, but I’m so stuck. I’m afraid of creating an earthquake. I want to dye my hair lavender and get a feather tattoo and go to the gym everyday and have money to buy my own home and have faith that it’s all I deserve and more. I want to make Cardboard Playhouse a household name and be recognized as an influential woman in my field. I want to mentor my kids to make smart bold choices and to tell them to not get stuck like I feel right now. I need to make a change. I’m spiraling quickly towards sadness about where I’ve taken my life. I know it’s terribly self centered to think my one shift will disrupt the whole universe, but it’s the way it feels. Would it disrupt it for the better?
Do I jump for the net to appear? Can it at least tell me kind of where it will be so I can jump in its general direction?